I can't lose him
by Laser Lance 720
Summary: Liam should have listened to his brother when he spoke of his fears concerning the plant they had come for. He hadn't, and now he was holding Killian close to him, pleading to a demon child for him to save his little brother.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Once Upon A Time. A large portion of the dialogue used in this was lifted directly from the episode Good Form (3x05). This is the first piece I will be submitting for the fandom, but hopefully I will have more on the way. I'm very eager to write more. Feel free to leave a thought or two should you desire. I always appreciate to hear another's thoughts.

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Rather this plant turned out to be the miracle their king offered, or the curse the child promised, Killian knew that the hike up this mountain to retrieve it was a hellish climb. He had spent most of his years aboard a ship, and climbing a mountain pass was not how the young Lieutenant wished to waste his breath. His legs were killing him but he pushed on, doing his best to keep up with his brother. Liam seemed even more determined to find this plant after their encounter with the child who called himself Pan.

Killian wouldn't lie in denying that he had become slightly disillusioned concerning this plant of theirs. He did not like the look the child had given them at the realization of their mission. He certainly did not like the prospect of mass death that he forewarned. The man didn't want to admit it, but the closer they got to the rise of this cliff, the tighter his chest felt. He had always had an acute sense of danger, not that the brother he was trekking behind ever gave that sense of his a second thought.

Clearing the rise, Liam pushed back an overgrown bush, and stopped for a moment. He threw a smile over his shoulder, before pressing forward into the clearing. Killian followed behind, watching as his brother pulled the parchment from his pocket, and compared the drawing to the plant before him.

This dreamshade looked nothing like the drawing, but exactly like it all at once. The long, thin vines, the copious number of leaves, and even the thick thorns were all just as the drawing displayed. However, the ink on the page was nothing to match the darkness of the plant before them. It was dull in color, the vines almost closer to a black than any shade of green, and the thorns seemed to ooze a substance that Killian doubted could ever be good for one's health.

"Well it certainly doesn't look like medicine," Killian spoke, eyeing the plant with distrust. Every instinct was telling him to leave this place. Of course, Liam didn't share the same dread and shoved the parchment back into his pocket and stepped closer to the plant, inspecting it with quick glanced.

"You choose to believe that boy over our king," Liam replied. He was moving around the massive bush.

Killian copied his brother's movements, doing his best to keep as far from the plant as he could. "That boy showed us the path to dreamshade. Why would he lie about its nature?

"To keep it all for himself." Liam sent a reassuring smile his way, before embarking closer to the vined mess. "You actually think our king would send us to retrieve something so dangerous?

"I would hope not. This is not what I signed up for."

"You signed up to listen to your king." There was an edge of frustration in his brother's tone.

"Because I thought he was a… a man of honor."

Liam looked at him once more. "He is!"

"If this is poison, it won't just end war. It will obliterate an entire race."

"What do you know of any of this?" Liam stepped closer to his younger brother, starting to find the disobedience beyond frustrating. Killian had never spoken against him in such a way. If anything, he had always worried that his brother followed his directions a bit too well. Now was not the moment for him to begin to question him, however. "I'm your brother and your captain. You will listen to me."

"No." His face was set hard as Killian stared down his brother. "I will fight my enemies, but I'll fight them fair."

Liam gave an eye roll and a soft scoff. He turned from Killian, drawing his sword. "Then allow me to disabuse you of that notion."

Cutting a vine from the rest, Liam seethed his sword. He went to grab the piece, but Killian somehow managed to get around him, and grab it for himself. The two stared at one another as Killian held the vine lightly in his hand, careful not to prick his skin with the sharp thorns. Just holding it made him feel sicker but he needed to make his point.

"Please, brother. I have a terrible feeling about this plant. I don't believe it's what we have been told."

"Killian, now is not the time for games." Liam reached his hand out, waving his fingers for Killian to return the vine. "We only have a job to do. Now please, just calm down and trust me."

"I do trust you."

"Then trust that I am right. Who would you believe on this, me or a child we just met?"

Killian felt his grip on the vine growing tighter. He looked at his brother with sorrow in his eyes. His eyes sparked with determination as he raised the hand holding the vine. He felt the thorns brush against his skin as he applied the slightest bit of pressure. "If you trust our king, than you won't stop me from allowing myself to be cut by it. After all, it's just medicine."

"Killian," Liam reached out as two thin trails of blood flowed from his brother's palm and down his arm. It soaked into the white of his sleeve, staining the fabric. The pair stood there a moment, before Killian let a quick breath grace his lips. He was still standing, the blood flow slowing as he loosened his grip on the vine. He held it in front of him, staring at the black tipped thorns. The wind danced around them, rustling the bush of dreamshade.

"You see?" Liam raised his arms, and inclined his head. Now that all the fuss was over, he went to redraw his sword. "You are perfectly fine. I told you, our King would never lie to us. Now let's collect our specimens and get off this-

He was cut off as Killian gave a scream of pain. The young man dropped to his knees, using his uninjured hand to brace himself. He fought down gasps of pain as his hand began to pulse in blinding spasms. Liam was at his side in a moment, his sword tossed to the side and the dreamshade vine kicked out of the way. He took his brother's hand, fighting the vile that rose to his lips at the sight. There were three punctures on Killian's left hand, and from those marks were growing thin black lines. They moved quickly, already growing under skin beyond his wrists.

"I am so sorry, brother." Liam kept one hand on his brother's, the other gripping Killian's chin and raising it. The two looked into one another's eyes before Killian doubled over as another wave of pain sent his arm into a spasm.

"It was my fault," Killian growled through the pain. "You always said I was too brash."

Liam shock his head, drawing his brother close to his chest. He held him, reminded of all the times he'd held his little brother while they had grown up; all the nights he had comforted him after their father had left them to the sea. They may have aged and grown, but Killian still nuzzled against his chest the same way he had when he'd been eight and scared of his first night at sea.

"If I had listened to you," Liam whispered into his brother's black mop of hair.

"If only you had listened to me." The voice came from just above them. Liam looked up, spotting the form of Peter Pan standing at the entrance of the clearing. "I tried to warn you. He'll die as soon as the poison reaches his heart."

"Please," Liam begged. "You have to save him. I cannot lose my little brother."

Peter Pan knelt down, getting a better look at the pained expression that plagued Killian's face. He was breathing heavily now, gripping his arm tight to his chest. The black vines beneath his skin were already halfway up his arm and still moving. Pan pressed the smile from his lips. "Well maybe you shouldn't have goaded him into it. He wanted you to believe him, and you didn't. Turns out you really should have."

Liam held his brother tighter as he drew into himself. His gaze fell onto the boy before him. "You knew this plant. The danger. You must know the remedy. You warned us, and I didn't heed that warning. I am sorry. But please, please do not make my brother pay for my mistake. He is innocent."

"Innocent," Peter Pan whispered before raising to his feet. He glanced at the dreamshade before rolling his eyes onto the brothers. "Well, it might not feel like it, but todays your lucky day. There is a way to stop him from dying."

He crossed them, making his way to the vines. Liam shifted to watch the boy walk. Killian withered at the movement, but was no longer able to vocalize his distress. Pan waved a hand, the vines moved out of the way, giving a clear display to the waterfall that had been resting beyond it. "This spring… these waters are rich with the power of Neverland. It's what keeps this land and all on it so… young. If one was to drink directly from it, its power could cure any ill."

Liam's hopes began to rise as he eyed the waters. He was rising to his feet, pulling Killian up with him. He threw his brother's arm over his shoulder, using himself to support the barely conscious younger man.

"But…" Pan spoke slowly, watching the pair of brothers, "I must warn you, all magic comes with a price, and that spring is no exception. Don't leave the island unless you are willing to pay."

Liam glared at the boy before him. "Whatever the price, I will pay it if it ensures my brother's survival."

The boy stepped out the way to allow the Captain to carry his brother to the edge of the water. He sat him on the edge, supporting him so he didn't fall over. Realizing there was nothing to use for a cup, Liam used his free hand to cup the water into his palm. He brought it to Killian's lips. The water brushed against his lips, but largely trickled down his chin. Liam tried again, this time finding his brother drinking the water. The dark vines beneath his skin began to fade. Continuing to force water down his brother's throat, Liam found his breaths calming as Killian's breathing evened and his eyes slowly opened.

"What…" Killian's voice was raspy. "What did you do?"

Liam glanced away from him, expecting to see the boy Pan still standing there. The helpful stranger was gone, leaving the two brothers holding one another by the water. "I did what I had to. It's nothing for you to worry yourself of. You are safe. You were right."

"I didn't want to be."

Liam just kept holding him, running his hands over Killian's arms. The black vines were gone, as were the puncture wounds. The only sign of the pain he had endured was the drying tracks of tears along his cheeks. He was safe and it was all Liam wanted.

"Let's get back to the ship," the Captain spoke to his Lieutenant. "There's much information to pass along. There are decisions to be made. I promise you Killian, we will not be bringing this plant with us. No one will suffer under this."

It was later on, below deck of a ship that was still soaring through the air as they entered back into their realm that Liam would learn the price that tainted magic. Liam was watching out the window, keeping his focus on the ocean far below. He had left the navigations to a trusted ship member as he assisted Killian in cleaning the blood from his arms and redressing. They were in the captain quarters, Killian buttoning the top of his shirt. Liam turned to him, thanking the gods that his brother was still standing there.

"Killian," Liam spoke, gaining attention. "I should have listened to you."

"I'm just glad I survived." There was a forced chuckle to Killian's voice as he slid his arms into his jacket sleeves. "What now brother?"

Liam allowed a smile to grace his lips. "We reveal our King's cowardice."

"Well let's hope the realm sides with us."

"Oh they will." Liam crossed the cabin, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. He gave it a squeeze, simply reassuring himself that his brother was indeed alive before him. "To fight battles using unholy weapons is as you say, bad form."

Killian returned the smile. "I will follow you to the ends of the Earth brother."

"All hands brace for landing!" The voice rang out from above deck. The pair of brothers watched out the window as the ocean grew closer to them. They gripped a close shelf as the ship touched down into the water. It was a rough landing, but the ship stood the impact. "Land ho!"

The brothers shared large smiles. Killian crossed the room, looking out the window. He could see land in the distance. "What do you say Liam, do you-"

Killian's words stopped at his lips as the pain began all over again. He glanced down at his hand, finding it a mess of black lines. Those lines disappeared under his sleeves, and judging from the pain that was already digging into his shoulders, it wasn't hard to figure out how far it had spread. Killian stumbled back, finding himself falling into his brother's arms. He looked into his brother's eyes, searching for reassurance that it was going to be alright. Liam wanted to give that, he was trying desperately, but as he held his brother as shudders coursed through his body, he knew any reassurance was a lie. A terrible, horrid lie that Liam wanted to believe.

"I'm sorry, Killy." Liam felt the tears run warm down his cheeks. His brother's shivering was growing calmer, but that did nothing to calm Liam. "I had promised to protect you. I failed."

"You didn't," Killian spoke under a whimper. "It's my fault."

"No. Killian," Liam fought to keep his breaths even as Killian gave a rough shudder. "I should have listened to you. You've always been able to just know when something was off, and I didn't listen. And you had to… you had to go about using drastic measures. And now I'm losing you."

Killian let a soft moan escape his lips. His eyelids had gone shut, and breath was dancing off his lips in slowly stifling waves.

"You saved who knows how many people today," Liam was speaking into his brother's hair. "If you hadn't done what you did, I would have brought the dreamshade back. I would have given it to him. He would have slaughtered so many innocents and that blood would have been on my hands."

Liam set his fingers on Killian's neck, finding it having gone still. He drew Killian closer, not wanting to admit that his little brother was gone. "I just wish you could have saved them, without costing your own life. You were a hero today, little brother."

Liam waited for Killian to dispute the title. He didn't.

"You've always been a hero." The tears were falling now and Liam let them wash over his brother's still warm face. "I don't think you ever realized this, but you've always been the better of the two of us. I'm so sorry."

There was noise above as the crew worked to sail into port. Anger grew inside of Liam as he spotted the shadow of land outside the window. "I promised you Killy, I will make him pay. He will not get away with taking you from this world; with taking you from me."

They grew closer to docking at port as Liam remained on the cabin floor, holding his younger brother close as his body grew cold. He would make sure the young man didn't die in vain. If he had to burn the palace down from the inside, Liam would ensure that the King would suffer for causing the death of his brother.


End file.
